Thursday, May 20, 2010

What sock?

No, Grandma, these socks are for me. Aren't they a pretty red color?

Socks for you? I am not knitting socks for you. Are you sure you are remembering right?

Pastel rainbow socks? No, I knit you a pastel rainbow vest a number of years ago? Are you sure you aren't thinking of that?

I am not knitting you socks right now. I don't knit socks for other people, only myself.

No, the socks that you tried on before were for me, I just wanted to see how they looked on someone else's feet.

No, I think I would remember if I were knitting socks for you. You must be remembering wrong.

Bye, Grandma, see you tomorrow.

Don't worry, I wouldn't really have this conversation even if I thought I could get away with it. And I will continue to resist the temptation to bind off and try to convince Grandma that I was knitting her ankle warmers and not socks.

Today, it is all about evil fantasies of denial.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Dreaming in Color

I have heard that some people dream in color, and some people dream in black and white. I am a color person. I think it would be cruel for a knitter to not be able to dream in color, but I digress.

I dreamed about knitting recently. I am apparently so sick of Grandma's socks in progress, I am now dreaming of starting something new. The yarn was a gorgeous silky soft something in stardard rainbow colors with a very long color repeat. At first, I was thinking scarf. Then my dreaming self realized that there was enough yarn for a wrap, and that would show off the vibrant colors better. I decided to work side to side, to make the color progression even more dramatic. Actually now that I think about it, the colors may not have repeated at all. I think it just worked through the rainbow once, with my wrap starting with purple on one side and ending with red on the other.

I dreamed that I tried on the wrap, so that I was certain the pattern idea and yarn would work together. Then I cast on. Dreams are just magic. And I will have to keep an eye out for this yarn. I could always dye it myself, since I have been, um, dying to attempt dyeing (Sorry, couldn't resist). I have the dyes and blank yarn, picked up used for a song. But dyeing requires (child free) time, and that is a rare commodity these days.

Apparently, my dreaming self has more knitting time and variety than my real self. I am jealous.

Today, it is all about envying yourself.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


Background: Patient was discovered by her husband face-down on the sofa with two unfinished knitted sicks clutched in one hand, and saliva dripping down one side of her chin.

Evaluation: Patient reports boredom, annoyance and frustation with the current sock in progress. Patient became defensive and agitated at the suggestions that she simply work on a different project for a while. "Don't you know the pressure of a knitting request from a 93-year-old grandmother?" Patient admitted to "accidently" leaving the sock project in odd places, for the excuse to work on a different project for a day or evening until the socks could be retrieved.

Diagnosis: Project Interest Deficit Syndrome (PIDS), time-pressured variety.

Treatment: Unfortunately, the only known cure for PIDS is a variety of pending projects. When forced by a deadline for complete focus on one project, the only hope is for the project to finish before the knitter suffers a complete breakdown.

Notation: The most severe case of PIDS on record ended with a permanent restraining order entered by the local yarn store after the knitter was discovered rolling naked in a large pile of alpaca and cashmere after breaking into the store in the middle of the night.

Today, it is all about the psyche.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Put your hands up and step away from the math

In mostly stolen moments, I have been working on Grandma's socks. I have cycled through the yarn's stripe pattern twice and estimate that I have one more to go before I can do my heels. The heels mark a halfway point in the socks, so I am 2/3's through the first half. That means I am . . . . 1/3 finished with both socks. When you like that, it doesn't sound like very much to show for two months' work. This would normally be the point when I would put the socks away for a while and work on something else, just for a change of scenery. But these socks have a deadline. I have to finish them by. . . well, no specific date, but as soon as possible. Grandma's feet are always cold, so they are just as needed in the summer as the winter.
Today, it is all about the thirds.