Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Assessment

Background: Patient was discovered by her husband face-down on the sofa with two unfinished knitted sicks clutched in one hand, and saliva dripping down one side of her chin.

Evaluation: Patient reports boredom, annoyance and frustation with the current sock in progress. Patient became defensive and agitated at the suggestions that she simply work on a different project for a while. "Don't you know the pressure of a knitting request from a 93-year-old grandmother?" Patient admitted to "accidently" leaving the sock project in odd places, for the excuse to work on a different project for a day or evening until the socks could be retrieved.

Diagnosis: Project Interest Deficit Syndrome (PIDS), time-pressured variety.

Treatment: Unfortunately, the only known cure for PIDS is a variety of pending projects. When forced by a deadline for complete focus on one project, the only hope is for the project to finish before the knitter suffers a complete breakdown.

Notation: The most severe case of PIDS on record ended with a permanent restraining order entered by the local yarn store after the knitter was discovered rolling naked in a large pile of alpaca and cashmere after breaking into the store in the middle of the night.

Today, it is all about the psyche.

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